It’s not unusual for divorcing spouses to take safety in a new partner, but if you like Dating During A Divorce, you must be aware of the possible pitfalls.
“Is it alright if I go out on a date?” is a common question among soon-to-be divorcees. “Not till your divorce is final,” the simple answer must always be. But things are rarely this straightforward.
Divorcing clients are frequently lonely and stressed out, and they may long to meet someone new, feel appealing again, and simply have fun, so many clients start deciding that one date won’t hurt.
If you cannot wait till your case is settled to start a relationship again, this article offers some “do’s and don’ts” of dating before you’re divorced.
The High Costs of Divorce Dating
Unfortunately, there are more things you should just not do than things you should do when dating during a divorce, but first, let’s define “dating.” “Dating” legally refers to one-on-one social contact with a person. There is no difference between platonic and romantic or sexual contact. Even so, from a practical standpoint, sexual or romantic relationships are the individuals that attract attention and may complicate your divorce case.
Divorce attorneys advise against dating while the divorce is pending because it can increase the cost and pressure of the divorce trial. You should not start dating someone while you are still married. Judges, on the other hand, hardly ever punish someone who starts dating—sexually or otherwise—after physically and permanently separating from their spouse.
Even if everything is fine, dating can cause a lot of unneeded stress, aggravation, and potentially even a more complex and expensive divorce.
An affair or New Relationship?
Dating During A Divorce: The presence of a new partner during a divorce, especially once paraded in front of the child or partner, can infuriate the soon-to-be ex as well as raise suspicion that now the relationship starts as an “affair” before the divorce. In response, your spouse may attempt to start a legal battle in an attempt to take vengeance on you as well as your new partner. Bringing a new partner around, whether justified or not, can surely boost stress and conflict, postpone the divorce proceedings, and raise your attorney’s fees if you do have lawyers managing your case.
Depending on the laws in your state and the specific problems in your situation, the other side’s lawyer might well be able to depose your new lover. Your spouse’s lawyer may even call your new partner to give testimony at your trial. This will be extremely unpleasant for everyone involved.
A deposition intends to determine: when the relationship began, whether it is sexual, if the married spouse transmitted any marital assets to the new friend, such as by gift, how much money the married spouse ended up spending on dating this person, and whether the spouse said anything in court that defense attorney or the judge can use to further the other’s case.
Even if everything is fine, Dating During A Divorce is still pending and can add unnecessary aggravation, pressure, and potentially even a more complex and expensive divorce. However, for those who cannot wait, here is some guidance for having dated while divorcing:
The Dos and Don’ts of Dating During A Divorce
Even if you and your spouse cooperate that the marriage is over, don’t even think about dating until you have physically removed from your spouse. The judge (or your spouse) may decide that the new partner is the reason the marriage failed, which could lead to a judge awarding more of the marital property to your spouse (depending on your state’s laws).
Once kept separate, date with extreme caution, especially around your children. Do nothing in front of them that you’d be embarrassed to describe to a judge. Try to avoid your children with your new partner because will likely irritate your spouse and exacerbate your child’s pain. Introducing a new partner at a young age is not a smart option for your kids, and making poor decisions like this might jeopardize your future custodial rights. Wait until after you’ve divorced to start dating, and only introduce your kids to a partner after you have been dating for at least 6 months.
Do not become pregnant or impregnate anyone until your divorce is final. Pregnancy will cause your case to be delayed until the baby is born so the court can determine paternity and custody as well as support requirements.
- Dating Do’s and Don’ts Throughout a Divorce
- Do make friends in groups, and avoid pairing off with anyone.
- It is acceptable to attend events alone and network socially. If you encounter someone you fancy, tell them about your situation right away.
- Exchange contact info, but minimize one-on-one contact until you’ve been separated for at least a week.
- Locate a divorce support group to assist you in dealing with a sense of sadness and isolation.
Can the Court Order That We Not Date?
Whereas the divorce is pending, most states allow judges to issue temporary orders. Temporary orders typically address custody, alimony, child support, restraining orders for both spouses to prevent marital funds from being wasted, and everything else the court deems necessary. Both spouses must obey temporary orders or risk being found in contempt of court, which means they infringed a court order. Contempt of court costs can result in fines, lawyer fees, and even jail time.
Although a judge is unlikely to order an absolute prohibition on dating during the divorce, this does not mean that a court will not punish a trying to date spouse if that spouse is using marital funds to date, adds an unsavory person to the children, or otherwise negatively affects the family and/or marriage finances during the divorce.
Furthermore, if you are dating during a divorce and your spouse started accusing you of adultery, the court will consider your relationship once deciding on alimony and/or division of property, depending on your state’s laws.
Divorced Couples Dating
Both spouses are ready to associate and remarry after the divorce is finalized by the court. If you have kids with your ex-spouse, your divorce settlement may also include provisions prohibiting you from introducing new spouses to your children for an amount of time or restricting dating around your children.
If you don’t want to leave your future trying to date life up to a judge, you and your spouse can come together to produce a marital legal settlement that tries to address future relationships and child introductions in a way that both of you are comfortable with. You can be any of the following requirements in your agreement before submitting it to the judge if both spouses agree:
- While the children are present, neither spouse will also have a dating partner
- Parents should wait a specific period prior to introducing children to a new partner
Here are all the things that you should know when dating during a divorce. Hope that this article is useful for you!